“Yo ho ho and a barrel o’ brains!”
The Zombie Pirate was getting sick and tired of seeing all of these young whippersnapper pirates mess things up, so he’s come back to show them how things used to be done back in the good old days. Not surprisingly for a several-hundred-year-old sea dog, he’s kind of old-fashioned. He still prefers to strand his prisoners on deserted islands instead of making them walk the plank, and he only plunders gold, not fancy-pants modern treasures like silks and spices. As a zombie, he isn’t particularly big on personal hygiene. His hook is rusty, his captain’s coat is falling apart, and his wooden leg has a bad case of termites. No one is entirely sure whether he has a beard, or just a particularly impressive collection of moss and lichens on his chin. In good news, he doesn’t smell much worse than the average pirate, and if he falls in the water, he’s more likely to bite the sharks than the other way around!